It’s Not Always About You

Just before the new year began, at least a few times a day I would pass by someone saying something about their new year’s resolution. We’ve all made them. They’re usually about losing weight, eating better, working harder, procrastinating less, the list goes on. I’ve made one before the start of each year and surprise surprise, I have never lasted very long. So this time around I decided I would try something that would really matter. It took me a while to figure out exactly what my new year’s resolution would be, but my epiphany came through my reoccurring frustration of one of the biggest human flaws: selfishness.

I think selfishness is particularly deceptive for one reason: we’re so blinded by our own wants and our needs that we forget we all have needs. It subtly convinces us that we’re right, or that what we want should take precedence over what anyone else wants. Because after all, we have a good reason for wanting it. It only becomes visible when we let our emotions rise to the surface because what they want is not what we want.

Selfishness can also fool us into thinking that our good deeds couldn’t possibly make us anything but an upstanding citizen. I see it in the church all the time. We go on mission trips, we volunteer giving turkey dinners to the poor during Thanksgiving, wipe away tears as we write a check for the starving children on the television screen. Maybe we even gave the homeless man standing by the intersection a little change. But we get back to our everyday lives, flip the switch, and it’s all about us again.

Suddenly we’re having to much fun to spend time the depressing friend who has no one left, the old lady in front of us couldn’t possibly move any slower, and everyone around us is too messed up to be the person that we want them to be. It’s funny how quickly the missionary who loves people, doesn’t care enough about the people in his own back yard. The one who wrote the check? She keeps breaking promises to the friend who regrets the day she was born. The girl who volunteered for the Thanksgiving meal donation never makes the effort to spend time with people who care about her, yet complains about those who don’t make her a priority.

So this year my new year’s resolution is to be more selfless. What a difference we could make in the lives of others if we spent more time thinking about their needs than we spend focusing on our own. Maybe the woman who has never felt loved will feel honored that someone took the time to listen. Maybe the man who’s never known a loyal friend will find one in the man who dropped everything to be there for him. Maybe for once the girl who has never had a voice will hear the words, “what do you think?” I would hope we would learn that it’s not always about us. And maybe we’ll even learn the key to that thing called love.

Love, Where Is Your Fire?

Love, Where Is Your Fire?

Never have I learned to love like I did this summer. When you find yourself on a missions trip in a country in which evangelism is illegal, your resources for spreading the gospel are limited. I guess I didn't mind so much though, I had grown tired of the apathetic, "If you die tonight will you go to heaven?"

See I feel like missions and outreach have turned into the "Salvation Game." A game in which you sit through the announcements of a Sunday service and hear "last week we had 200 salvations!" or "In Mexico we had 300!" and so on. That's amazing. I'm all about expanding the kingdom of God. It's what we're called to do. But all too often the focus becomes the sport, and not the hearts. Just ask our talented salvation athletes to hang out with the guy with the filthy mouth, the awkward annoying kid who no one can stand for more than three minutes, or the whore who sleeps around. The truth is, many will go in to win the game, and never come back to touch the heart.

Jesus was all about hearts. He had dinner with the annoying tax collector that no one liked, he stood up for the adulterous woman, and he let the prostitute wash his feet. He loved strangers without prejudice, and loved the accused without judgement. "This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you." John 15:12. Man what an impact we would have if we learned to love like Jesus did.

So what happens when you put heart into the game? Well first off it's not so much a game anymore. Because you find out that the guy with the filthy mouth grew up with a father who was hardly a man, soon after every female in his life screwed him over. You find that the awkward annoying kid has no one to talk to and feels very much alone in life. You'll find that the whore is really a beautiful young woman who was told she was only good for one thing. You find that those we often judge are really just like us. Human beings with human problems who need love.

When did we misunderstand God's grace and mercy with our own self-righteousness? When did we forget how cheap and undeserving we are without the Cross? When did we forget we are all the same? We are no better than the rest of the world. We only know a love that others have yet to experience. Yet we take this love for granted. "We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?" 1 John 3:16.

So when did I learn to really love? I learned when I clipped the finger and toe nails, and cleaned the ears of countless villagers in a remote island in Indonesia. I learned when I put aside my frustration to love team members were just needed some love and affection. I learned when I chose to love someone who knowingly hurt me. I learned when I mocked someone only to find later that I had mocked their gift to me. I learned when I sat with and listened to men, women and children tell me about their lives, their passions. I learned as I watched a tiny tired girl fall asleep in my arms. I learned as I prayed for the healing of an unborn child, and felt God's power at work. I learned as I watched people who didn't know this love that we know, still love me, a stranger. But most of all, I learned when I opened me eyes, and looked beyond myself.

"Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13